The Only Way Out is Pushing Forward
by Angie010
Summary: Kaidan goes into extreme shock after loosing Shepard for the second time in his life. Will he pull out, or will the truth be too much to handle? Shepard chooses what she thinks is the only sane choice given to her, how will her actions pan-out for the future of all Organics? Post ME3. Takes place right after the Extended cut Destroy ending. Rating may change as story progresses.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a small piece to a bigger story I have been working on. Please let me know what you all think! I'd greatly appreciate any and all comments. Thanks!**

**And of course, Bioware owns all.**

**-AN**

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A light gush of wind blew past his face as he sat waiting on the stone bench overlooking the glistening lake. The suns glow of orange and red was basking on his face as he took in the gorgeous view. He heard footsteps coming from behind him, they were light but firmly placed upon the ground with each extend. He didn't need to turn around to see who it was; he knew exactly whose lighthearted steps they belong to. A gentle hand snaked around his waist and rested on his right side, he closed his eyes at the sudden touch. He felt her slide right next to him and within seconds her head lay in the crook of his neck. A small comforting sigh slipped through her lips as the scent of him filled her nose. Musky cologne with a hint of spice from his aftershave, she'd never forget the smell of him, it was unique to her like nothing she's ever quite smelt before. His hand smoothed up and down the spine of her back as he sat there completely at ease, forgetting all of his worries, all of the problems circling around the two and simply enjoyed the moment. A small whimper came out of her mouth and he jumped slightly at the sound. He placed his hand gently underneath her chin and lifted her face up to his; his eyes searched her features for any sign of distraught. He wouldn't have seen anything if not for the single tear that begrudgingly left her eye. Instantly she grabbed her side and looked to the ground. Another louder whimper escaped her lips, this time pain was laced through the outcry. She tried slipping away from him but that just reaffirmed his grasp on her, he noticed her right hand placed firmly upon her left side in an attempt to ease the pain. He slid off the stone bench not taking his hands off of her and gently lifted her right hand away from her side. A small blood stain seeped through her white shirt and within seconds it began to increase in size rapidly. Panic raced through his veins as he turned to his left to reach for his medi-gel within his picnic bag, but as he turned the bag disappeared, along with the lake and the distant forest. The only thing that remained was the stone bench; they were surrounded by a vast emptiness, no colors, no figures, no edges, just a dull grey surrounding.

"Kaidan." A small whisper escaped her lips; this drew his attention back to her within a millisecond.

"Don't talk my love, you're badly injured, I need to find you help." His heart beat rose steadily as the stain continued to increase in size, she was losing a lot of blood, and fast.

"Help, from where? Do you even know where we are?" She glanced around her taking in their surroundings; there was nothing, absolutely nothing aside from the grey stone bench. "Everything is gone, all of it is gone. No lake, no house, it's just us and this bench."

Realization began to hit him, he quickly took off his black V-neck shirt and lifted her blood stained top and placed it against her large wound. A small desperate attempt to keep her alive as long as possible, he couldn't lose her.

"Kaidan, look at me." He ignored her plea. "Kaidan, I need you to look at me." The desperation in her voice seemed to catch his attention as his eyes reluctantly left the wound and found hers. She took in a deep breath and continued, her free hand finding his. "I need you to keep fighting no matter what happens to me." She paused and took in a breath, her eyebrows furrowed as the pain began to increase, knowing she had little time. "You're of no use to anyone mute and emotionless, a lot of people will be depending on you to help get them through this-"

"Wha-what are you talking about? What people? It's just us here, there's no one that needs to be saved a side from you. I need to find help, I need to save you!" He started to rise up to search for something anything to help the love of his life to stop from bleeding out. But she stopped him, her grip on his hand stronger than ever.

"Kaidan, think. You know what I am talking about. I need you to be strong not for me or you, but for our crew. There distraught, unfocused, scared, and lost and I need you to fix that." Her voice began to slightly waver from the intense pain of her injury.

Kaidan shook his head, reluctant to listen to her pleading. "Shepard, you're losing a lot of blood, you don't know what you're talking about. We need to stop the bleeding before it's too late."

"It's never too late, Cerberus proved that." She glanced into his eyes and waited for the change in focus. Just like that his expression turned from soft and loving to betrayal and hatred.

"Cerberus?! They are a bunch of terrorists that harmed and killed thousands of people and for what?"

"They are the ones that brought me back; they are the ones that granted you a second chance at us." She exhaled a large breath glancing at their hands. Nerves getting the better of her, how was she going to get him to see what she was trying to say? She looked up into his eyes and tried to change the course of the conversation. "Kaidan, listen to me. I need you to listen to every word I'm about to say." She paused, waiting for his protest, but he just sat there patiently on both of his knees. His free hand rested on her upper thigh as his eyes focused completely into hers. She continued. "I love you, I love you so much, kay? I need you to be strong for the both of us. The road ahead of us is far from smooth, but I need you to never give up on us. I promised you that after this war was over, I'd be waiting for you." A single tear trickled down her cheek which was previously clean and smooth, but now it was coated in layers of dirt, blood, and filth. Kaidan blinked a few times, thinking that his vision was blurred, but realized that everything around him was changing. It was changing from the fantasy that he desperately was holding on to for his own brief sanity, to the awful reality that was poking at him repeatedly. The lake was replaced by the broken buildings of London; the house was replaced with the multitude of rovers surrounding them. The only thing that remained the same was the stone bench. But he realized that there was no stone bench in London before their last raid together. His hand slid from atop her thigh to the bench, tracing it slowly, trying hard to remember where he's seen the bench before. Shepard's hand slid on top of his as their fingers laced together, like two puzzle pieces.

"I remember you'd always talk to me about your house in Vancouver, and how you'd like for me to meet your parents one day." She looked off into the distance. "You briefly mentioned a stone bench that you had in the backyard, one that you'd always see your mother sitting on. You told me that she only sat there very early in the mornings, overlooking the grand lake." A small smile pulled at the corner of her lips. "I don't know why, but I kept that with me. The thought that one day me and you could come and visit your home in Vancouver, and that I'd wake up early in the morning one day and see you sitting here on this stone bench overlooking the lake like your mother used to do. I held on to that because it was the only thing that kept me going, kept me fighting when all I wanted to do was give up. Toward the end, the nightmares, Cerberus, and the Reapers were taking a huge toll on me, and I could feel myself slowly giving up hope, but I had this," Her hand slid from the bench up to his heart, "to keep me going." Another tear slid down her cheek. "I love you, and I need you to keep fighting. I am waiting Kaidan; I am waiting for you like I said I would." She kissed his hand and placed it on her cheek.

He closed his eyes at the touch of her lips on his hand. He missed her and he didn't realize how much till this moment. As he opened his eyes he noticed that she was beginning to fade away, the small smile frozen on her lips. He reached out to her in a desperate attempt to keep her there with him, but she was gone. He fell forward from the momentum onto the stone bench, tears began to run down his face, and he knew. The dream, the fantasy world that he drew up for himself disappeared, and reality hit him harder than before.

He shot up from the medical bed and took in a sharp breath. He felt something yank at his arm, leaving a slight sting. He glanced down and saw the needled lodged into his vein feeding liquid into his body. He pulled it out with ease. He felt something heavy placed on his chest, he glanced down and noticed a medi-pad stuck there, he ripped that off in one swooping motion, taking a few chest hairs along with it, he winced. Instantly the heart rate monitor blared at him angrily. He reached for his Omni-tool reflexively to shut off the machine, but it was missing. The doors to the med-bay slid open with a mechanical hiss, Chakwas and Garrus quickly rushed in. Panic was strewn across the doctor's face and Garrus's mandibles were clicking repeatedly. How long was he out for?

"Oh thank heavens! You're awake. I thought we may have lost you." The doctor rushed over to his side and ran a diagnosis test over him like a protective mother. "Everything seems to be fine, your vitals look strong, and your injuries are healing promisingly. With a lot of rest and fluids, you should be good as new within a few days, Major." A broad smile came across her face. To his surprise she wrapped her arms around him in a tight caring hug. He was naturally shocked at first but the comforting feeling overcame him and he gave in, hugging her back. A small smile stretched over his face, remembering his dream and the silent promise he made to the love of his life. His reverie was interrupted.

"How long was I out for?" His voice came out hoarse, like it was unused for months.

Garrus answered his question, "You've been out for almost 1 week. You were in a coma for the majority of that time. I took control of things while you were out." Kaidan suddenly felt sick to his stomach, a coma?

"The other part of that week you were awake, but it was strange. Nothing like I've ever seen before. You were responsive, but it was as if your emotions, personality, everything that made you, you, was gone. Vanished, and no matter what I did, or said, nothing seemed to bring that part of you back." Chakwas was holding a data pad, inputting results from her scan into a data base.

"Then what happened? You said I was in a coma." Kaidan questioned.

"Yes of course. Shortly after all my attempts at bringing your personality side back, you had a seizure. Your brain was swelling with liquid at a rapid rate, I had to drain the liquid out quickly by drilling a small hole and inserting a tube." She paused for a second, seeming to drift back in time. "Garrus and Liara had to hold you down while the liquid drained. Surprisingly there was no screaming on your end when the drilling occurred... Like I said, nothing like I've ever seen before." Chakwas continued her report while slightly shaking her head.

"We were all scared that you wouldn't make it. Right after that you slipped into the coma, the fluid was drained and the hole patched up, and now here we are." Garrus added.

Kaidan's face paled three shades. If it weren't for the previous scan Chakwas did she would have thought he would pass out right there. He remained motionless, the only thing moving was his chest. Out then in, convulsing on the large flow of air coming and going. He tried grasping everything that was told to him, but it was all just so freakishly strange. Why would that happen to him? He wasn't that badly injured when he dodged the flying Mako. Just the single deep wound at his side. Then it all hit him, Shepard's goodbye, her running toward the beam, the dream. Suddenly, he felt like no matter how big of a breath he took in, the air surrounding him was dwindling away, scarce.

He slowly got up and moved over to the edge of the bed, feeling stiff as ever. The pain at his side where he sustained his injury was slightly stinging as he attempted to slide off the bed. He was grateful that Garrus was there with him, for he was sure that he'd knock the doctor off her feet as he stumbled trying to get up.

"What are you doing? You should be resting; Sit back down, you need some food." Chakwas tried pushing the Major back onto the cot but he gently refused, pushing her hand away.

"I need to get off this bed; I need to see the crew." His voice came out raspy, he tried clearing his throat but that didn't help. He needed water.

"You'll see the crew soon enough, they can wait. You on the other hand need your rest. You just woke up from being comatose for almost a week, you are in no shape to get up and walk around." She ignored his resisting hand and again attempted to push him back into the bed but his stubbornness wouldn't prevail.

He paused and looked the doctor in the eye. "Chakwas, I need to see the crew. I need to apologize, set things straight… especially with Liara." He glanced down at his hands, baring slight shame at the way things went down last time he was with her. The doctor saw the remorse within him and slightly backed away, silently allowing him to rise. He tried standing up on his feet, but he stumbled. His muscles were weak and tired from the exertions they previously went through for weeks on end.

"Easy, easy there buddy, we don't want you ripping your healed stitches." Too tired to respond he simply smiled weakly and leaned his arm around Garrus's shoulders. He led Kaidan into the mess hall where half of the crew was waiting patiently for their Commanding officer to arise.

To his dismay, he was surprised to see how much of the original crew made it and how many new faces were around. The sight was humbling and he knew exactly what to do. He managed to push himself away from Garrus and stood up as straight as he could. He raised his hand slowly to his forehead in perfect form and gave off the best damn solute that he could manage.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This gives a bit of info about what happens before Kaidan goes into a coma. Just an FYI so there is no confusion. **

**Thanks to those who have followed the story so far! Brings a smile to my face :]**

**One more point, I am aiming to update very week or 2 weeks, I am back in school and taking a challenging course load so It may be longer. But the nice part is that I have a few chapters written out already. Just need a bit of editing here and there. **

**Again, thanks to the readers and followers!**

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Kaidan sat in Doctor Chakwas's chair staring out in front of him at nothing in particular. Injured soldiers were being rushed into the Normandy's med bay seeking the doctor's help and attention. He just sat there, numbness and shock coursed throughout his body, effectively blocking out the panicked noise surrounding him. He made a promise to Shepard that he would be right by her side until the end but he was forced by no other than the Commander herself to break that promise. If only he had moved faster or had been a little to the right or even attempted to slide underneath the flying Mako, he could still be with her, keeping his promise, protecting her. He cursed at himself underneath his breath.

He remembered pushing and shoving against Liara's grasping hands trying desperately to escape her hold and run after Shepard. But he was badly weakened from the injury sustained and couldn't escape her grip. The doors finally closed and Liara released him. He rushed forward from his momentum and slammed his fists into the sealed shuttle bay doors. He screamed and pounded against them demanding that they open up while tears began to stream down his face. Liara hesitantly walked toward the Major and attempted to sooth him, placing a caring hand gently upon his shoulder. Forgetting where he was he briskly turned from the touch and put up a defensive posture. Anger fed into his boitics as a blue aura surrounded him and instantly he threw a biotic push at Liara before he could fully process what he was doing. Pain and regret flushed through him as he remembered the hurt look on her face. He was briefly cut out from the memory by Garrus, who by then was standing directly in front of him shouting and shaking his shoulders, trying desperately to get a response from him.

"Major… Major! Goddammit, Kaidan look at me! We need someone to organize the mess out there, people are panicking, and they need you!" Garrus's voice came out in a desperate cry as he watched his friend shake his grip off of him and slip back into his numbed gaze. The Turian tried getting Chakwas to take a look at him, but she simply stated that there were other people that desperately needed her attention more than him at the moment. She apologized and continued her frantic work, trying to save the life of a bleeding soldier who was letting out pained cries as he laid on one of her medical beds.

Garrus noticed from outside the med bay windows that a fight was about to break out on the crew deck. He began to make his way over to stop it, but not before roughly grabbing his friend by the shoulders and forcefully begged him to come back.

"Kaidan, I can't attempt to control and lead these people on my own, we **need** you, Major… We **need** you." With that he quickly left the med bay to deal with the fight while he hoped that his friend would come back to him, and soon.

While sitting in the chair Kaidan could feel the Normandy jump into FTL and immediately his heart sank deeper into the dark hole that had recently formed. Everything, everything he fought for up until a few moments ago was abruptly taken away from him. She, was taken from him and there was nothing he could do about it. No, he couldn't, he wouldn't accept that she was gone; there was no way in hell that he'd be able to handle her death a second time. He'd rather be dead than alive living without her.

Lost in his train of thought he barely noticed the growing pain at his side. Eventually he began to feel an overwhelming amount of moisture building up at the spot. He felt wetness trickle down the side of his rib cage. He released the chest plate of his armor and instantly regretted the action. The pain intensified and coursed through his stomach at the sudden release. He glanced down at the origin of the pain and there was a deep gash on his right side. Blood was oozing out at a threatening pace. He tried reaching out to a medi gel pack lying on the table, but his reach was a few inches too short as the pain increased and became unbearable. Kaidan began to feel his world slowly spinning around him as his hand slid off the table.

Chakwas jumped at the sound of a loud thump behind her. She turned around only to be greeted by a bleeding major passed out on the floor. She immediately stopped what she was doing, ordered a medic to take over her job, and proceeded to save her dear friend's life.

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'Three choices, control, synthesis, and destroy. So The Illusive Man was right when he found the means for controlling the Reapers, the only problem, he was already indoctrinated. But in order to control them I'll have to be a part of them. And being part of the Reapers was something I never wanted to happen, so that's clearly not an option. Synthesis, mix my bodies energy with the beams energy and somehow that creates a hybrid species of synthetics and organics. The final evolutionary step. No, humanity alone is not ready for that kind of change and sealing the fate for all other organics and non-organics seems almost selfish; that leaves destroy. The option that I came in here wanting to accomplish from the beginning, why should it change now? The only problem is synthetics will in time be created again, and they will eventually rebel against their creators, but what if that so called 'destiny' could be changed?'

Shepard stood there, thinking carefully about all three of the options in front of her. Yet again the fate of the entire galaxy rests on her shoulders. In this moment she began to realize just how tired she was from everything, all of it. All she wanted was to lie down and rest now more than ever.

'Soon, soon I'll have my chance to rest. I'll be damned if I don't get at least a month's shore leave after this... Assuming that I survive.'

Pushing that thought aside she firmly grasped her side with her uninjured arm and stepped forward. A sharp pain raptured down her spine and across to her gut where she was profusely bleeding but she continued to pushed forward, she had to. She decided to stand by her word and destroy all of the Reapers, sacrificing all synthetics in the process. It was a thought, a possibility that had crossed her mind several times before reaching the citadel. She knew the catalyst was a weapon of some sort and that it carried the possibility to destroy all Reapers. Since EDI was based off Reaper tech and after Legion upgraded the Geth using the same technology, she knew they could be part of the casualties. She reassured herself by concluding that this was the only sane option available and took another trembling step forward. The hollow flickering image of the boy who claimed to be the catalyst, followed close behind.

Memories of her time spent with Legion and EDI were racing through her mind with every step she took. Tears began to swell in her eyes, too tired and exhausted to care she let them fall freely down her dirty blood smeared face. She licked her lips and a tangy taste of iron and dirt filled her senses. She finally reached her destination, grabbing every ounce of strength; she attempted to straighten her posture while focusing on the target in front of her. She raised her hand that held the pistol and began firing at the devise. Shot after shot memories of her crew rushed to her mind. One last shot was all that was needed to end this war. Just as she was about to pull the trigger Kaidan's face filled her thoughts. She hesitated, her finger lingered on the trigger. Her heart ached for him, she longed for his strong muscular arms, for his soft luscious lips, and in that moment, for the first time in her life, she prayed. She prayed that she'd survive these next few moments and that she'd be in his arms once more. She flexed her finger.

A rush of heat encircled her body as a bright red light filled her vision. She felt her neck, face, and arms burn from the exposure, coercing a pained cry from her lips. An explosion sent her weakened figure soaring across the platform of the citadel. She felt as if she was flying freely, the heavy weight on her shoulders that have accumulated over the years, finally completely lifted off of her body. The abstract feeling sent a ripple of shivers down her spine. In the first time in years she felt as if she could breath.

Her back hit a wall with crushing force, the deep breath she took while in midair escaped her mouth as the bone crushing impact knocked her out cold. Blackness circled her mind as her body collapsed on the rubble of what once was the citadel.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. As I stated before schools a pain in my arss. **

**So just so you all know single quotation marks like so, ' ' represent the thoughts that that character is thinking in their heads. **

**With that said, Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3

"Chakwas I swear I am feeling fine! See? Look!" Kaidan pushed off from the medical bed and walked around her in circles. Glancing at her and seeing that she wasn't convinced he began to do a mixture of jogging and skipping across the med bay room just to prove his point.

"Alright, alright Major. I get it, now stop skipping before you trip and harm yourself again." She replied in a stern voice, letting him know not to test her. He of course complied and closed the gap between the two of them.

"So does this mean that I am released from bed rest?" Kaidan stood in front of his dear old friend and stretched out his right shoulder and neck while awaiting a reply.

Chakwas delayed in responding for a few moments. She stood there studying him closely, trying to pinpoint any sign of distress or pain, nothing was registered. She ran a full body scan just as a precaution, she found nothing. Finally she released a breath and replied. "Yes this means you are released... Only! - Only, under the condition that you take it easy, no biotic use for a while until your brainwave readings are a bit lower than what they are now. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" He practically jogged right out of the room, he needed to debrief the crew, establish that he was in charge now, and get all of the necessary information as to where they were and why they haven't been flying for the past couple days. He was eager to get back on the horse and go to full speed with her. And Chakwas could sense this.

"Well, go on now." She waved him off with the back of her hand, and that's all it took. He rushed out of that room as if he was being chase by a yahg, eager to get out of that dungeon he was in. The second he stepped out of the room Garrus came strolling out from the elevator.

"Kaidan! Good, you've been released. Walk with me and I'll try and catch you up on what's been going on out here since we left Earth space." Garrus paused momentarily in front of Kaidan before continuing his stride, awaiting for the questions to rush out.

"Where are we? One of the last things I remember before passing out was feeling the ship shift into FTL drive."

Garrus nodded his head, "Joker had no other option but to blindly jump from Earth space. There was this red light that was essentially chasing our tail moments after picking you and Liara up, per Commander Shepard's order. Joker thinks the light is what caused our systems to malfunction and shut down temporarily. Ever since the shut down EDI has been offline."

"Anything that our engineers can do to turn her back on?"

Garrus shook his head as they both lifted their legs up the steps toward the main battery. "Not a damn thing has worked. Something in the red light caused this to happen, what it was is unknown as of right now. We've tried getting contact with the outer world, but communications has been offline following the red blast as well. Whatever that thing was caused a lot of damage to the Normandy's systems but no official damage to any organics on board, well, as far as Chakwas' full body scans and blood tests, that is."

Kaidan paused outside the door as Garrus typed in his code to unlock the main battery room. He was slightly puzzled at the action, he didn't remember it having a lock before. He attempted to comprehend and make sense of the information given to him before asking the obvious question. "Why is the main battery door locked?"

Garrus chuckled to himself before responding. "Oh, no real important reason, aside from the fact that this is my baby, my section of the ship that I know best out of everyone on board. And I don't like anyone messing with my baby. I've got a sort of system, one that runs like a well oiled machine, I know what needs fixing and what is already fixed. And letting someone in on it, aside from Liara, would be an extra added headache."

Kaidan nodded his head, he could understand that. A bit over protective but understandable.

"So how's Joker taking the absence of EDI, I'd imagine not too well. And where is her body being stored?"

Garrus entered the doorway and Kaidan followed, he made his way toward the back of the room to check on the south end batteries. "At first he didn't take it too well, naturally. But over time I think he just dealt with it the best he could, it's still a sore subject but he's been working nonstop up in the cockpit trying to get a few systems back online and running, especially communications. Frankly that's been our number one concern aside from trying to get the Normandy up to flying standards. As for the body, it's stored right in the center of EDI's systems, back room of the med bay." He paused for a second and focused on the batteries in front of him. "What I am trying to do now, since I know your probably curious, is I have been attempting to get connection to the rear batteries back on. This would essentially allow for the whole Normandy's systems to have full access to power. Since the front and middle batteries are up to speed. Although It's a lot easier said than done."

"Full power hasn't been reached yet?"

"No, here's a list of who's in charge of what. You can ask them for more details in their assigned sections. I have been mostly overseeing everyone so I know a little about everything that's been going on, but not the brutal details." He sent over the data to his Omni. Kaidan pulled up the list and read it out loud.

"Tali, Gabby, and Ken - Engines and comm systems

Joker - comm systems and mainframe systems

Chakwas - Medical equipment storage and maintaining health of crew

Liara - comm systems and battery

Garrus - Battery, Temp Command

James - Patch work on Normandy and heavy lifting"

"You should probably input what you want to focus on after talking to the rest of the crew, just so everyone has an idea of what you'll focus on. It's been a crazy few days Alenko. Our edible food stores are down to 50% and dwindling. We need to get off this planet soon before we all starve to death. We've established food rations, but with the hours everyone's been working, it's been a bit of a squeeze."

"And I am assuming that local food is either scarce or non-edible?"

"Surprisingly there is a lot of local flora here, but without the proper equipment on board to analyze the food we decided against it. Shepard, Jacob and I went on a mission on an off world planet and the colonist there that ate the local flora suffered extreme side effects, side effects that I would prefer to avoid."

"I read the reports, sounded horrible." Kaidan shifted on his feet, he wished at the time that he was with them helping out rather than filling thousands of reports. Even till this day a part of him regretted saying no to Shepard's offer of rejoining her crew.

"It was... AHA! Finally I've got the connection stabilized!" He turned toward his old friend, a huge grin on his Turian face, "look Kaidan, as much as I'd like to try and fill in all of the gaps, I've got a lot on my hands right now. Why don't you talk to the rest of the crew on that log and maybe they can help." Kaidan nodded his head and began retreating out of the room. "In the mean time, let's get you up and running my sweet baby!"

The door swooshed closed behind the Major, and just in time. The Turian let out loud cheers of triumph from finally accomplishing the torturous task. Kaidan smiled to himself while shaking his head. Glad to see his friend with a smile on his face. He glanced down at the list and decided to make his way over to Liara, she would know most about communications, especially with her tedious side job at stake with each silent minute spent.

"Drone, I need your assistance over here."

"Yes Liara, on my way."

"You see that wire along the far side of the wall? Once I plug that it to its respective place all of the screens will turn on. When that happens we have a 30 second window to type in the respective codes in order to sign in as the Shadow Broker. If done correctly it may help us further our prospects with turning communications back online."

"Understood Liara. I will run full measures to type in the correct codes for proper log in access."

"Good." Liara stretched her body behind the wall of screens to reach the wire. She grabbed the wire and began to insert it into the correct slot. "Okay, are you ready drone?" The drone simply twirled around in spot to indicate its response. "Alright, here it goes." She clicked the wire in place and the whole room lit up like fireworks.

"Please type in correct log in information, shadow broker." The computer automated system responded.

"Drone!"

"Inputting information... Done, access granted. We have achieved complete and full access to the Shadow Broker Intel."

Liara snaked out from her crouched position and rushed over to her computer consol to verify the access. "YES! Full access, aside from communications of course. But this is a fantastic start!" She cheered in glee.

The door to her room hissed open revealing Kaidan in the midst.

"Oh Kaidan, you are up and walking around! You look well, that is a great sight." She rushed over to him and embraced him in a tight friendly hug. "I was so worried about you and your condition, all of the crew was. I, myself, felt useless unable to do anything to essentially help you."

Releasing from her hug he replied. "Liara, the important part is that I am doing well and ready to get off this world we've landed on and head home, back to Earth. How's communications going? I heard you cheering from outside the door. Must be a good sign?" He questioned.

"Comm is still down, but I have gained access to all of the Shadow Broker Intel, this is a huge leap toward the right direction, I assure you." A smile spread across her face.

"And how's that?"

"Well having full access will grant myself information for alternative methods for getting communications back online. I'd imagine that there are various resources listed in the data base for emergency power wide shut down, if it ever happened back on the Shadow Broker base. You know, sort of as a precautionary back up." She explained to her dear friend.

Kaidan smiled. This was huge. "That's great news Liara! Other than this breakthrough, what have we tried so far with the comm that hasn't worked? I'd just like to be brought up to speed with what's been happening."

"Of course. We've tried just about every technique known from our small group of persons that survived. All of which got us nowhere... It's strange, that red light that chased after us, I've never heard or seen anything like it before. Even with all of my Prothean research. I have never came across any mentioning of a bright red light. It's quite puzzling, I can't help but wonder if Shepard was the one to trigger it... I mean it happened mere minutes after we left Earths atmo." She paused for a second, seeming in deep thought before speaking again. "I am not quite sure, I am still trying to piece together the puzzle." With that she returned to her terminal and went back to searching for anything related to comm information. "If I get any relevant information that can help with communications systems, I will be sure to let you know Kaidan."

Picking up on the hint, he began his retreat out of the Asari's room. "If you need anything, let me know."

Liara glanced away from the consol and gave a genuine smile. One of few since the crash. "Of course... I am glad you are doing alright Kaidan."

With that, the door closed behind him and he made his way toward the cockpit. Kaidan needed to make sure his best friend was coping alright, and to pass on the good news. But on his way to the cockpit his head started to spin a little. He wobbled, a bit off balance from the dizziness. His hand rose up and rested on a wall to steady himself. The dizziness seemed to fade.

He shook his head and dragged a hand across his eyes; slightly confused by the strange feeling. He was feeling alright so he decided to continued his walk to the elevator, as soon as he entered and the door shut, the dizzy feeling came back but with more force this time. He backed up into a corner in the elevator and sank to the floor, not wanting to stumble and fall. Suddenly, his mind briefly flashed to the dream he had of Shepard before he awoke. Just as soon as the dizziness and memory appeared, both vanished swiftly. He brushed a hand across his brow, sweat accumulated on his forehead from the strange occurrence and was beginning to trickle down his forehead. His breathing was irregular and it took him a few deep breaths to calm down. He had no clue what just happened, but he figured it could be from his over exertion following his recent release from bed rest. He figured he would take it easy and the feeling should pass. But he couldn't help but wonder, why the dream?

'Pain, pain was all I could feel, encircling me as I laid there on the broken Citadel awaiting death. But even the pain was slowly slipping away, eventually turning into nothing but numbness. I would have preferred the pain, it reminded me off all of those who suffered because of my mistakes. The Batarian's who suffered as I threw the mass relay into their planet, the people on the Citadel who died without a fighting chance as I was yet again blind sighted by Cerberus and the Illusive Man, or the little boy back in Vancouver who died while he was briefly blinded by false security, as a Reaper shattered all of his hope for a possible future within seconds. All of those mistakes created because I failed to open the eyes of the Council, of the Alliance before it was too late. I welcomed death with open arms as each breath I took grew shallower than the previous. I wanted badly to join Ashley up in heaven, to see Thane again and be able to properly thank him for his sacrifice, and to hear the songs being sung by Mordin while sitting together watching over our friends, protecting and guiding them from above. But apparently even death failed to listen to my pleading calls…'

"I want all of you to check every square inch of this floating mess. It was the last place Shepard's transmission was recorded after everything went dark. Keep in mind what Major Alenko taught us with our biotic use. This place is extremely unstable regardless if there's still a mass effect field holding it afloat." The biotic specialist called out to his crew before turning to search the wreckage himself.

The biotic team spread out in search for the infamous Commander Shepard, the one who they witnessed kissing their instructor before they descended on the final push to the beam.

"Lieutenant Eisenhawk what do you see down there?" Hackett's voice filled the comm unit of the biotic specialist leader.

"Nothing yet, sir. We just arrived to the last known coordinates of the Commanders, I just sent the crew out to search the perimeter. This piece is the biggest part of the Citadel that managed to survive the blast." Eisenhawk paused for a brief moment, letting his surroundings fully encompass him. "It's-it's strange, I've never seen this section of the Citadel before."

"Just keep focused on the search Lieutenant, don't let anything distract you."

"Yes sir."

"And while you're searching, keep an eye out for Admiral Anderson, he's reported missing and was with Hammer squad, he had to have been making a run for the beam, he might be up there with Shepard." Hackett ordered as his voice slightly betrayed the worry he felt for both of them.

"I'll radio the new search addition to the-"

"Lieutenant! We found two bodies."

"Hold on Admiral, I am being told we've found two bodies. I'm going to stake out the area and report back."

"Do so swiftly, Hackett out."

Eisenhawk returned his attention to the biotic soldier and motioned for him to continue. He obliged.

"One of the bodies is Admiral Anderson. He...he didn't make it. Gunshot wound to his side, seems like he bled out." The young biotic soldier shifted on his feet, nerves getting the better of him as he explained the situation to his commanding officer.

Eisenhawk recognized the nerves of the young biotic all too well. He was in his shoes not too long ago before his all too sudden promotion following the disappearance of Major Alenko. Another mystery left unsolved. He did the best to try and calm the nerves of the young biotic. "Good job soldier. Lead me to the place."

The lieutenant began following the biotic, "You said you found more than one body? Did we find the Commander?"

"No sir, we found an older man. His face is-is…"

"His face is what? Spit it out soldier."

"It's part Reaper."

Eisenhawk gaped in confusion at the response as he approached the scene. His eyes first clutched the attention of the deceased Admiral. He was sitting up with his head drooping down; the blood that had been seeping through his shirt was almost fully dried. He cringed at the sight. The lieutenant glanced toward the Admirals face, it seemed as though there was a slight ghost of a smile frozen upon his lips. His skin was so pale, close to being grey in color. Eisenhawk's attention was then drawn to the body strewn across the floor a few feet away. He made his way over to the corpse. Gunshot wound to the head, self-inflicted, a pistol; the weapon of choice, lay on the floor a few inches away from the man's hand. The lieutenant turned the body onto his back to see the face of the deceased man.

"See what I mean about being part Reaper." The young soldier explained. The look on his face was filled with disgust. And he didn't blame him, it was repulsive.

Eisenhawk ignored the soldiers comment and searched through his Omni-tool sifting through classified files. He's seen this man's face before, recognized it from somewhere. There was a reason why he went about trying to engrain this man's face to memory. He stumbled upon the picture, a stone formed in the bottom of his gut.

"The Illusive Man." He whispered to himself. The lieutenant stepped away far enough from the eager soldier so he wouldn't be able to hear him and raised communications to Hackett.

"What have you got Lieutenant?"

"We found Admiral Anderson. He's dead, sir." Sadness slightly filled his response. The Admiral was a decorated hero, one that he hoped to meet one day. The Reapers took away yet another honorable person.

"I see…"

"There's more sir, we found another dead body, one that I think belongs to The Illusive Man himself."

"And how would you know that the body belongs to the leader of Cerberus?" Concern and surprise formulated into the Admirals questioning response.

Silence filled the comm for a moment before the Lieutenant responded. "Uh- Major Alenko came across classified Intel that happened to have a photo of The Illusive Man within it. I believe it was sent by Commander Shepard herself. He had a small number of us commit the man's face to memory incase… well, incase him and Shepard failed to end his life." The lieutenant swallowed nervously.

"Alenko did always make sure all the ends were covered. Can you make out how long the bodies have been deceased?" He questioned the lieutenant.

"My best guess would be about 20 hours, sir. The blood around Admiral Anderson's wound has almost fully dried, his skin has paled a few shades. But without a doctor onsite to tell, that 's still just a guess sir."

There was a short pause on the other end of comm line. "Going off your assumption, that doesn't leave much time for Shepard assuming that she isn't badly injured." He replied more to himself than to the lieutenant. "Alright I'm sending a shuttle for retrieval of the bodies." He cut the comm off for a brief moment, hailing an available shuttle to their location and turned it back on within seconds. "What of Shepard? Have you found her yet?"

"That's a negative sir, we are still searching. Although there is a console here near the two body's sir, and there is a trail of blood that leads up to it. It seems as though the person was badly wounded, almost as if they were struggling to get to this console." Eisenhawk walked alongside the blood smear until he reached the console. He gasped at the amount of blood pooled directly in front of it, he leaned down to grab a sample to have it analyzed by his Omni tool. Within seconds the Omni tool rang indicating that the analysis was complete and revealed the owner of the blood.

"What is it? What do you see?" Hackett's voice cuts the extended silence.

"There's… there's a lot of blood sir, too much for anyone to be able to survive this long without proper medical attention." He shudders and tries to regain his breath before continuing. "The blood, it, uh-belongs to the Commander, sir." As the last of the words slip from his lips he stood up and leaned against the console accidentally hitting a button and within seconds the platform he stood on began to rise. Blood from the pile dripped off the edges of the platform as it began its ascend. Eisenhawk quickly regained his balance from the sudden movement. Between the panic and confusion rushing through his blood he realized that his comm unit was cutting to static.

"Admiral? Admiral do you read me? Admiral?- Shit." He glanced down below and realized that he wasn't alone and that his crew was still with him. He screamed down to them barking orders about the incoming shuttle and how they needed to load the bodies, but before he could give additional orders, it was too late; he had fully ascended to the upper ground.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Important things at the end, **

**Hope you enjoy! **

* * *

Chapter 4

The elevator chimed and the doors opened up to the CIC. Kaidan stepped out and glared as the bright lights from the room sent a shockwave of pain straight to his head. Cursing under his breath he raised his hand to shield his eyes from the bright lights. Trainer noticed the pained expression on Alenko's face and rushed over to help.

"Are you alright Major? What's going on?"

He tried brushing her off and acting like it was nothing, but the second his hand slipped away from its protective posture he grimaced from the light. "I- uh, it's a migraine. A minor one, I- I just need pills."

"Okay, let me help you get down to the med bay and Chakwas can have a look at you."

Kaidan shook his head in a an attempt to refuse that idea, and instantly regretted it. "N-no, just take me to the cockpit. I have some stashed up there."

She obliged without saying another word, noticing that whenever she spoke he cringed away. She simply helped guide him up the stairs and toward the front of the ship.

Joker heard two sets of footsteps approaching him from behind. He knew Kaidan recently woke up so he figured he was coming up to check up on him with Garrus. "Hey buddy, I was beginning to wonder when you would come up here to check up on me. I swear, I am doing fine, so no need-"

He spun around in his chair and soaked in the sight before him.

"Holly shit Kaidan, you look like crap!" He practically screamed in surprise.

"Ah god Joker, can you talk any louder?" Kaidan cringed back as Trainer helped support the extra weight he forced upon her by the action.

"Shit sorry man." He replied in a whisper. "Just set him over there." He pointed to the co-pilots chair, where EDI used to reside. Trainer nodded her head and guided him to the chair. As soon as he was settled in she made sure Joker could handle him

"You sure you don't need my help?" She questioned.

"Nah, I've got this. You can go back to whatever you were doing." He gave her a soft smile.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Alright, if you insist." She turned around and made her way back to what she was previously doing at the terminal.

Joker got up and proceeded to find exactly what Kaidan needed. He walked to the left of his chair and opened up an almost hidden compartment, he pulled out a bottle of red pills and grabbed his cup of luke warm tea. He strode back toward the Major and placed two pills in his left hand while placing the cup of his half drunken tea in his right. Kaidan placed the pills in his mouth and took a huge gulp of the drink. He would have spat out the drink the second it touched his tongue if it weren't for the pills that he had to take. "Oh god Joker, what was that? It tasted awful!"

The pilot slightly laughed to himself. "It was spiced tea, some old Indian recipe. Supposed to calm the nerves and help one relax. It hasn't really helped much, but now I am kinda addicted to the taste. And besides no one else really likes it, so there's a ton of bags left in the kitchen."

His only reply was a groan.

Joker glanced over at his friend, he had his arm draped over his eyes, effectively blocking out any possible light. "So what happened to you man? I thought Chakwas cleared you this morning?"

Kaidan grumbled, and barely mumbled the next few words before falling off to sleep. A direct side effect of the drug. "S-she did. Something w-weird happened-..." And he was out.

Kaidan awoke 8 hours later, all of his muscles stiff from sleeping in the slightly uncomfortable co-pilots chair. He began to get up from his seat and attempted to stretch out his sore muscles. The migraine he previously had completely dissipated and he was surprisingly feeling close to 100 percent. Maybe all that really he needed was some sleep like Chakwas suggested.

"Ah, good you're awake. How are you feeling buddy? No migraine?" Joker asked in a relatively low voice just in case there were traces of the headache. His chair pointing toward the co-pilots seat.

Kaidan was bent over attempting to stretch out his lower back while he replied. "Yea, no migraine. I don't know what happened, but the rest seemed to help a lot. How long was I out for?"

"About 8 hours. Liara and doctor Chakwas came up as soon I sent the ship wide message. Chakwas was acting like a worry wart, as usual. Claiming that she warned you that this might happen, yadda yadda. Nothing new there, but, what Liara found while you were sleeping, like a baby might I add, well it was interesting."

Kaidan straightened out from his bent position at this slight change in topic, his face was red from the rush of blood caused by being bent over. "What did she find?" He asked in an intrigued voice.

"She thinks she found the answer to our communications problem. Seems like the Shadow Broker Intel really paid off. I won't bore you with the details, well cuz' I didn't really catch on to what Liara was saying when she was explaining it to me. But I can tell you that Liara and Tali have been working hard down on Engineering deck, trying to solve the problem. So you might want to head down there to see what's up. Assuming of course that you can walk without keeling over in pain the second you step foot out of the cockpit." He added a sweet and short smile at the end of his response.

"Hah-ha very funny Joker. I think I am fine. Just a fluke I guess, nothing too serious."

"You sure about that? Cuz' I remember you saying something before crashing last night." Joker looked at him with an accusatory stare, awaiting for the inevitable truth to come out of his friends mouth.

He sighed, no use in lying about what's been going on. He thought to himself as he plopped back down in the co-pilot seat behind him. "Alright, you're right. There has been a few strange things that have been happening..." Kaidan explained the dream that he had about Shepard just before waking up and the strange dizzy feeling he had in the elevator, with the added flashback to the dream.

"It was strange because the flashback I had, wasn't part of the dream that I remembered. I had the same feeling as in the dream, the dread and the uselessness of not being able to save Shepard. But this flashback was brief, and it wasn't at my home back in Vancouver, it was somewhere else."

"Where were you? In the flashback I mean." Joker was fully invested in Kaidan's recollection at this point, he cared for his friend and wanted to help anyway he could. For all he knew, Kaidan had already lost the love of his life, and they all were sitting here without a way to contact Alliance command to get the dreadful news.

"I couldn't tell you, there was a lot of rubble. And I mean a lot. Then I came back to reality slipped right out of the flashback, and here I am now..." Kaidan glanced down at his hands while he spoke the rest. "Weird huh? I mean my best guess would be that when my brain was swelling up from the concussion I sustained, some part of my brain got tinkered with when the swelling came down, and that's what's causing these 'flashbacks' so to speak. But honestly I have no clue, that's simply my best guess."

"Yea, I don't know man, that's outta my pay grade, and not to mention, my profession. Maybe Chakwas can help you out with all of this. You should talk to her."

"Ah, I don't know, I think I am okay. If it gets worse, then maybe but for now I am fine. Plus Chakwas has her hands full with all of the PTSD cases she's got on hand and they all need her special attention. "

Joker shrugged his shoulders, he knew better than to argue with Kaidan. "Well, don't say I never warned you."

With that Kaidan got up from the co-pilots seat and grabbed a hold of Jokers shoulder, gently squeezing it in an affectionate brotherly way.

Choosing to completely ignore his last comment he spoke, "I am really sorry about what happened to E-" Before he could finish, Joker had cut him off.

"Don't... I am fine Kaidan. The last thing I need right now is to be reminded of what I lost... Of what we all lost." He glanced down at his hands while he responded.

Kaidan simply nodded his head, showing that he understood. This moment made him realize that he hadn't explained the whole situation to the crew, not officially at least. He needed to rectify that, so he walked over to the comm unit took in a deep breath and then placed his finger on the button.

"Attention Normandy crew, this is Major Alenko speaking. I know all of you have seen me walking around talking to a select few of the crew. I have been gathering some information about what happened while I was in a coma. I want you all to know that I am doing fine now. I am feeling a whole lot better, and that entails that I will be coming to each single station and talking to just about everyone on board within the next few hours. I want to gather reports on how repairs are coming, so prepare some form of information for me. This is the time to voice your concerns to me as your acting Captain. I will take all in consideration. Just remember, these are tough times we are under right now. With no outside communications we have no clue if we won us a war or not. But for now keep your hopes high and keep working on getting the Normandy up and in flight. I don't want to spend another hour stranded on this planet, and I am assuming neither do any of you," Kaidan took a moment to let all of that sink in, before he signed off, "Major Alenko, out."

The ship wide comm unit shut off and the normal buzz of the ship returned within seconds.

Joker looked over at Kaidan and smiled. "Nicely done. Reminded me of one of Shepard's speeches."

"Hah, hardly the same level, but, thanks for the compliment." He turned around from his place beside Joker and made his way out of the cockpit. He glanced down at his Omni tool and looked at the time, 0900 hours. He figured he'd be done with questioning the crew at around 1600 hours. He had a feeling questioning the crew was going to be tough. He took in a deep breath and continued outward to make his rounds.

A couple hours had passed and with each person Kaidan spoke to his moral went down a notch and his anger and frustration up one notch. The ship was in worse condition that he first initially thought. And the recovery process was slow at best. On top of that everyone shared the same concern over the remaining food and water stores that were dwindling with each day. Some even showed good amounts of anger over the topic, and with understandable reason, though unnecessary. When Kaidan spoke with James, he brought up the idea of getting a group of combat trained men and women to go out and search the planet for viable food and water sources. He of course shot down that idea the second it escaped his lips. Explaining that the Normandy lacked the proper equipment to analyze foreign substances and not to mention the fact that it would be an unnecessary danger for the people going out. James responded by getting in his face and demanding that he rethink the option and that he was fully capable of leading a small group of men. He assured him that he would, just to get the massive marine out of his personal space and before he had to take drastic measures to put him back in his place. There was a reason for a command structure, especially in times of need and panic, simply because it worked at putting people back in line, and Kaidan would never allow James to undermine the Alliance command structure.

By this time Kaidan was exhausted, not from the extent of the work, but from the lack of hope and morale on the Normandy. He went to the kitchen in the mess hall for a cup of coffee. He needed his energy back up and fast.

'I- I can't. I can't take t-this. It's too much. The pain, the smell, my eyes. Th- they won't open. They hurt. It hurts. Everything, every, single, inch, burns. Breathing hurts. My lungs expand and the air that rushes out rattles. Something's wrong inside. Something's broken that shouldn't be. Hah- what isn't broken. I burn, I hurt. I- I can't move, every time I try, every inch I move, feels like a sharks rough bite, tearing through my muscles.

I taste blood, lots of it. I try to swallow, b- but the taste returns. Too much blood, there's too much. I can't stand the iron metal taste. I want- I need water. I can't stand it. My heart, its beat is shallow, like a whisper in the darkened night. It's trying, it doesn't want to fail me. I want it to. This is too much. Too much, pain. I can't. I want to die, but I can't. I made- I made a promise. I need Kaidan. Where is he?

I- I need... Wher- Kaidan...'

***  
"Tali, Liara, how are the repairs coming?" Kaidan's voice was eager, he needed to hear good news, as of late the past few days had been hectic for himself. His mind was too preoccupied with the need to fix the Normandy as fast as possible so they could get back to the sol system, and so he could see the love of his life again. Some of the crew started to think of him as being slightly pushy due to the constant pressure he forced upon them to get the repairs done, and fast. After crash landing on a remote planet following the blast of the crucible, the remaining crew had been working day and night to the Major's specifications.

"They are improving, especially with the information Liara found. I'm sure at this rate, with myself and Liara working solely on bringing our comm systems up, we will be able to raise communications by the end of the week." She replied with a proud stance infused into her posture.

"End of the week? I needed them up yesterday! Make this the number one priority for every available engineer we've got on board. I want them up no later than three days. Is that clear?"

"Three days? Kaidan that's impossible! We don't have nearly enough man power, not to mention the lack of material and tools." Exclaimed Tali.

"Kaidan, you're not being rational about the time frame. We just discovered this useful information on how to bring them back online, now we need to spend time deciphering the codes and procedures." Liara looked at him with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Liara, our food stores are decreasing with each hour we are stuck on this planet. James is tempted to gather a team and go searching on the planet for an edible food and water source. Who knows what could be out there? I can't, I won't risks the crews life when the answer to all of our problems are right here within this ship."

The gut wrenching dizzy feeling returned and caused Kaidan to lean against the wall for support. He closed his eyes for a moment and squeezed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to try and recollect himself.

"Kaidan, are you alright?" Tali placed a soft hand upon his shoulder as she gently pushed him aside so his face was in view. She pulled out her Omni tool to begin a scan of his vital signs. While Liara simply continued focusing on her previous work. She didn't know what was wrong with him lately, with the unusual dizziness, but he did have a point. They needed to crunch out work and try and get comm back on, and fast. Preferably before everyone starved to death.

"I am fine, just tired." He pushed himself off the wall and took in a deep ragged breath before adding, "I understand that we have a lack of supplies but we need communications up. We need to know if the Commander won us a war." While explaining himself to her he pushed down her arm causing Tali to stop the scan from her Omni tool. She glanced into his eyes and reluctantly accepted his reassurance that he was alright.

"We will do our best Kaidan but three days is not a practical time limit." She noticed that he was about to start again and interrupted before he could. "We'll get it working, I promise you." She grabbed a hold of his shoulder gently squeezing it before adding, "I'm sure she managed to put an end to the war and… and that she's alive and safe."

Kaidan's demeanor stiffened at the mentioning of her well-being. "Just get communications up online as soon as you can Tali, Liara." He began to turn away but paused before a full retreat, "And… thanks." With that he pressed the green button on the door and headed down to the lower deck under Engineering.

'Now to deal with this issue.' He took the final step off the staircase and glanced over at the cot that held the object of interest. Kaidan opened up his Omni tool and began running diagnostics on the form in front of him, trying to gain any extra information that could speed up the recovery time of the Normandy. He heard footsteps descending down the stairs to where he was standing. He turned around and saw engineer Adams with his arms crossed lingering on the last few steps. His face held the contour of someone in deep thought.

Kaidan turned his back toward Adams and continued his procedure, "Something on your mind Adams?"

"You know, I've been running diagnostics night after night and I think I may have something that could be beneficial towards speeding up our recovery time. With enough engineers and the correct material, not to mention power, I believe we can reboot her with potentially no harm done to the people on board the Normandy or towards her. The task to reboot her unfortunately would not be easy." Adams paused for a moment waiting for a counter from Alenko but none were spoken, so he proceeded. "There are certain risks that could occur if done improperly. Like the possibility that she would no longer be the same… uh, person or, AI as she was before. She could go rogue and risk the death of everyone on board. She is still contoured from the same technology as the Reapers, which alone is a **serious** risk, one that should not be taken lightly. But her capabilities single-handedly could get us the hell off this uncharted planet with ease and precision. She is capable of much more than what a full crew plus Joker can do, she was engineered to perform at precision accuracy, something we can desperately use right now. But I am sure you know all of this already."

Silence filled the room for quite some time. Kaidan took in what Adams had to say and began to analyze every possible risk that came to mind. He did not want to jeopardize the protection and safety the crew; they were good people who managed to tolerate his hard ass behavior that steadily arose since the crash. Someday he would properly thank them all for putting up with him for so long. Hearing Adams clear his throat snapped him out of his thoughts. Kaidan noticed that he began to retreat up the stairs. He managed to stop him before he was out of sight, almost forgetting that he was standing there waiting for his reply.

"Adams wait," the engineer stopped in his tracks, turned around, and began to descend down the stairs. He stood next to the Major while he continued to speak. "I appreciate the hard work that you've been doing, even if I didn't request it from you. I have been trying myself to figure out a way to retrieve any valuable information from her without causing a complete reactivation, but it's posing as a challenge."

"Yea seems like if you try to restart one small section of her core, the energy serge from that begins to lead to her complete reactivation."

Kaidan nodded his head in agreement.

"I know that having her activated and functional would help tremendously with navigating off this planet and possibly getting back to the sol system … but right now, my main concern is getting communications up and attempting to get a hold of anyone in the Alliance fleet. Plus, I don't want to make the rash decision of reactivating her without any advice or approval from Alliance command, given that she is part Reaper tech."

"I understand sir; I will let you know though that my work with analyzing her will continue. Along with working alongside Liara and Tali."

"I wouldn't have asked you to stop. Thank you again for doing this, and for tolerating my behavior as of late-"

Adams cut off Kaidan before he could continue further. "Major, everyone is stressed over the situation that we are under. No one blames you for the way you've been acting towards them; everyone aboard this ship respects you and what you have done for us so far... Although, easing up a bit wouldn't hurt either." Adams lightly punched the Major while letting out a small chuckle as he began his retreat up the stairs. "You know I've heard poker can ease some tension if you're up for it!" He called out from the top of the stairs before leaving the room.

"Ah, that wouldn't be fair if I joined a game; I'd clean all of you guys out within seconds."

"Hah! I'd like to see you try!" Adams was laughing as he returned to his post leaving Kaidan alone by himself with the lifeless metal body that once was EDI's to claim.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Here's a bit of personal input into why I wrote a few things. **

**For me, I think that the someone in the crew would get a bit curious in regards to EDI and why she all of a sudden went completely silent. So that is why I had Adams be the curious one along with Kaidan of course. Plus I think it'll make the story that much more interesting :D**

**And I promise there is a reason for Kaidan's "weakened" state!**

**With that said, I will try and update soon! But no guarantees that it will be soon. School and all you know? :/**


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